How and Why

Adoption has been on my heart since I was a teenager. In 2013 our dreams came true when we brought home Isaac. Our desire to be a part of the miracle of adoption only grew stronger after adopting Isaac.

I love to share about adoption! We get asked a lot of questions and I thought I'd answer a few here for you.

How did you get a boy?

As you probably know, China instituted a one-child policy in 1979. Because of the patriarchal society, boys were needed to care for the family. If you had only one child, and it was a girl, you were at a distinct disadvantage. For a long time orphanages were full of babies, most of them girls. Over the years the laws have been relaxed, allowing families to have a second child if the first was a girl, or pay a fine for additional children. In 2016 they moved to a two child policy. With these and other changes, more Chinese people are able to parent their children and even find adoptive families for healthy babies in country.

Currently, the orphanages are still full (an estimated almost one million children) but now they are all children with special needs. Many families wanting to adopt choose girls. That leaves the biggest need right now for special needs boys and older kids. Children age out of the system at age 14.

I have posted this before, but it tells the story so much better than I can so I will repost it here:

http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/11/asia/china-orphanage-children/index.html

Does Samuel speak English?

Nope. He speaks Mandarin. In China we will have a translator with us sometimes. Otherwise we will be using lots of gestures to communicate, plus we have learned a few necessary words and phrases. Mick has learned a bit of Mandarin through podcasts (he's good with language!). And the Google translate app is good for sharing important specific information. Isaac has lost all of his Chinese. Many of you suspect he will remember some once he meets Samuel. I don't think so. We'll see, though!

How long is the process?

Isaac's adoption was 13 months from application to travel. Samuel's has been a month longer. This is pretty quick in the adoption world. Adoption is quite involved paperwork-wise.

How much does it cost?

Including the trip, it is about $35,000. This includes the agency fees, orphanage donation, paperwork submittals, and travel.

How long is the trip?

We will fly from here to Chicago and on to Shanghai. We will land 17 hours after we take off in St. Louis. Then we will travel on to the capital city in Samuel's province where we will make the adoption official and get a Chinese passport for him. This part includes a day trip to Samuel's city three hours away by train. That all takes most of a week and then we are on to Guangzhou where we do American immigration stuff like a medical exam and visa. After several appointments and waiting on clearances, we'll leave there 8 days later. Then home as a family of 4!

Why didn't you adopt from America?

 One of the first things I did when we found out we would likely not ever have biological children was call DFS. I was told they were not interested in adoptive families unless we could take a sibling group over age 7. Some parents are equipped for that and I continue to be humbled by their dedication and strength. We knew that was not a good choice for us, though.

After trying other roads over the next two years I called DFS again, thinking circumstances may have changed. Again, the answer was that they did not want us unless we wanted to be foster parents or adopt a sibling group over the age of 7. This is obviously a deep need we have in our country and anyone who feels a tug toward this, please explore it! We however knew this was not the right path for us.

In addition, there is domestic infant adoption. This is a great option for both families and birth mothers. We have several friends who have adopted this way. We also went through this process. For three months we prepared for the birth of our child. The birth mother decided when she gave birth that she wanted to parent him herself. That's a beautiful outcome, but left us heartbroken.

If you have more questions, please ask and I will do my best to answer!