Seats on a Plane

We have plane tickets!!

After a lot of "hurry up and wait" we finally have all our appointments, approvals, and clearances and are able to schedule our flights. 

It has been 14 months since we applied and started the process. It has been 12 months of looking at this precious boy's picture and longing to hold him. If it has seemed long to us, I can't imagine how long it has seemed to him- not knowing when the day will come that he will embraced by his family but leave behind all he has ever known.

We have done this before; that at once gives me confidence and fear. I know the grief, the learning to belong, the fear. I remember the intensity of those first months. With Isaac we were first time parents, dealing with so much more than what is usually expected when you bring home a newborn. The intensity of Isaac's needs bowled me over. For all I poured into him I received nothing back for quite a while. It was a crucible of learning to love unconditionally with my will;  to give with no expectations. It was not graceful.

Over the last three years we have learned what it means to be a family- to stick together and work it out and lean in. The joy of being Isaac's Mama is boundless; to know this precious little boy and be the one who gets to share life with him is a treasure. That he calls me Mama is a gift that I will never be able to take for granted. I am honored that God chose us to protect him, teach him, and love him as he grows; to have a front row seat to his exceptional life. I know he will do great things because he already does.

Last day of second grade! 

 So, here we are, ready to bring Samuel home and begin the process of learning to be a family of four. I hope and pray I will be able to be what he needs, as well as what Isaac needs, especially during these first critical months. Mostly right now though, my arms ache to hold him. I want to shower him with the kisses that have been building up for the last year, and to tell him "Wo ai ni" ("I love you" in Chinese.) I want to see him play with Isaac, and eat fish burgers, and experience new things. As he discovers the world I can't wait to discover all about him, too. Soon, Samuel! We're almost there!