Next Stop- China

Tomorrow we travel. As we prepare for the actual trip, in between practical thoughts and decisions, I keep thinking back to last November.

We decided in September of last year to relinquish our last adopted embryos and choose a different path. Of course, we had no idea what that path should be.

I read so many reports of families who saw a photo of their child and just knew they belonged together. That sounded great! So I looked through hundreds of photos of children waiting for families- all countries, all agencies, all ages, all kinds of special needs. My heart broke over and over for these precious children, but I never found one in particular that felt right. How can you decide which way to go when the whole world is open? I was overwhelmed and terrified. So, since we had no special feelings, all we could do is make a practical list. Here is what we thought:

·         We did want to have children, so we wanted to proceed with something

•         China has the most straightforward program of all the countries we read about
•         We wanted a larger agency that would walk us through the process
•         We thought it would be good to adopt a child who was closer in age to the older cousins- so between 3 and 6 years old
•         Boys are sometimes more difficult to place and there is a greater need 

Two weeks before Thanksgiving 2012, I received an email from a friend at church. She knew we were thinking of adopting and she forwarded me an email from a friend of hers. This lady was trying to find a family for the best friend of the little boy her family was adopting. So I opened the email to see a photo  and description of a sweet little boy, in China, who was almost 4. He fit exactly what we thought practically would be a good fit for us. Although I still didn't have that feeling, I just did the next thing and asked a large agency that I trusted to pull his file for us to see. And we prayed.

To this day, I have never had that "moment". But here is what I know- God asks us to care for the orphan. We made a life-altering decision without a special revelation. And the doors continued to be open as we walked down this path.  Along the way, I have come to love this little boy I don't yet know in person. I am delighted with his photos- his sweet smile or serious little face.  I dream of attending his games and recitals. I want to teach him and give him everything. My arms almost tingle with the desire to hold him. In only a few days, God willing, I will hold him. My love for him is strong and fierce. What I stepped out to do on faith will soon be sight. And I trust God will give us what we need to care for him just as he has given what we need to get this far.

We leave tomorrow!